30-Day Heartbreak Survival Plan
Breakups hurt. Sometimes it feels like your world has been turned upside down, and you can’t imagine moving on. This 30-day plan is designed to help you navigate heartbreak in a way that meets you where you are.
I’ve broken it into three phases so you can find guidance that fits your stage of healing:
Early heartbreak: First 2 weeks
Mid heartbreak: Weeks 2–6
Later stage: Weeks 6–30
Phase 1: Early Heartbreak (First 2 Weeks) — Survive & Support Yourself
The first days after a breakup can feel overwhelming. Your main goal is to survive the intensity of your emotions while taking care of your basic needs.
Focus on support:
Reach out to a friend or family member you trust. Let them know you need someone safe to lean on.
Consider talking to a therapist who can guide you through these first intense emotions.
Digital boundaries:
Mute or unfollow your ex on social media.
Move photos of your ex to a hidden folder on your phone.
Self-care basics:
Nourishing meals, gentle movement.
Shower everyday
Prioritize sleep whenever possible. Create a loving relaxing sleep routine (think tea, bath, facials, soothing scents, sleep meditations)
Allow yourself to feel sad—crying and journaling are healing.
Take time off work for a couple days if you can to focus on yourself.
Do things daily that bring you joy (getting out in the sun, taking scenic walk, use music and dancing to boost endorphins)
Try This Today:
Send a message to a supportive friend letting them know you need a safe space to talk or vent.
Phase 2: Mid Heartbreak (Weeks 2–6) — Curiosity & Rebuilding
By this phase, the intense shock has started to settle. Your goal is to notice patterns, reduce self-blame, and begin rebuilding your life.
Catch self-blame:
Notice when you’re blaming yourself for what happened.
Reframe your thoughts gently: “I’m learning from this, not failing.”
Explore and reconnect with yourself:
Try a new hobby or revisit an old interest.
Set small personal goals for your healing—like taking yourself on a solo outing.
Social connections:
Meet new people in low-pressure settings.
Reconnect with friends who make you feel supported.
Continue self-care:
Keep up with nourishing meals, sleep, and light exercise.
Read a book that encourages healing (I love The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz)
Journal about your feelings and what’s helping you heal.
Try This Today:
Pick one small goal that supports your healing—like a 15-minute walk, journaling, or trying a new recipe—and commit to doing it.
Phase 3: Later Stage (Weeks 6–30) — Closure & Moving Forward
By now, you’re ready to integrate the breakup experience and begin reclaiming your life. The focus is on closure, growth, and moving forward with confidence.
Give yourself closure:
Write a letter to your ex that you don’t send. Reflect on what you learned and what you need to let go of.
Acknowledge the end of the relationship as part of your growth.
Rebuild your life:
Focus on personal goals and hobbies that excite you.
Strengthen boundaries with social media, mutual friends, and communication with your ex if needed.
Celebrate progress:
Notice moments of independence, confidence, and joy.
Reward yourself for small wins along the way.
Try This Today:
Write down three things you’ve learned from this relationship that will help you grow and feel stronger moving forward.
Final Thoughts
Heartbreak isn’t easy, but it’s a process you can navigate with compassion for yourself. Remember, surviving a breakup isn’t about avoiding your feelings—it’s about taking care of yourself and giving yourself the space to heal.
And just because this was a 30 day plan, doesn’t mean you should be all good and healed by this time. NO, normal grief will come in waves, sometimes you will feel better, and then you might get pockets of sadness. Don’t create unrealistic expectations that you won’t think of them anymore, or feel sad anymore, but the goal is to feel less sad and less reactive over time. But this is only possible with intentional healing.
If you’re struggling, consider working with a therapist or joining a breakup support group. As an EMDR therapist in Long Beach, I help clients process heartbreak safely and move toward emotional freedom.
Hi! I’m Nicole, Licensed Therapist in California.
I specialize in relationships, trauma, and breakups. If you are interested in working with me or want to learn more, schedule your free call!
