In-person therapy in Long Beach + online throughout California & Florida
Betrayal Trauma Therapy
Therapy for people struggling with infidelity, secrecy, broken trust, and the anxiety that can follow.
You found out something you never thought you'd have to find out.
Maybe it happened months ago, but your brain still hasn't gotten the memo that you're supposed to be okay now.
You replay what happened.
You go back through old conversations and wonder what you missed.
You notice every change in their tone.
You check their phone, social media, location, or other details because you need to know what's really going on.
You ask questions, get an answer, and then find yourself wondering if there's more you're not being told.
You may even hate that you're doing these things.
“Why can't I just trust them?”
“Why can't I stop thinking about it?”
“How did I not know?”
“How am I supposed to trust myself again?”
And then there's the bigger question:
Can this relationship actually be repaired, or am I trying to save something I can no longer feel safe in?
Betrayal can make you question more than your relationship.
You might find yourself questioning:
Your judgment: “How did I not see this?”
Your intuition: “Were those gut feelings right all along?”
Your memories: “Did I completely misread what was happening?”
Your worth: “Why wasn't I enough?”
Your attractiveness: “Was there something wrong with me?”
Your ability to trust: “How am I supposed to trust anyone again?”
Your ability to love: “Can I ever feel safe enough to let someone in?”
Your standards: “Did I ignore red flags I shouldn't have?”
Your boundaries: “Why did I put up with this?”
Your future: “What if I never find someone I can trust?”
Your identity: “I don't even recognize myself anymore.”
Your sense of safety: “How do I know this won't happen again?”
My approach
We're not just going to talk about the thing that happened on & on.
Therapy with me is active, collaborative, and focused on helping you understand what betrayal has changed for you.
We'll make sense of what happened.
We'll slow down and look at the betrayal, what led up to it, and how it has affected you.We'll understand what it activated.
We'll look at the thoughts, emotions, body reactions, and fears that show up after betrayal.We'll rebuild self-trust.
We'll work through the self-blame, second-guessing, and questions like, “How did I not see this?”We'll get curious about your protective parts.
Instead of judging the parts of you that want to check, overthink, pull away, or hold on, we'll understand what they're trying to protect.When appropriate, I'll use EMDR and parts work to help you process painful experiences and beliefs that may be keeping you stuck.
I'll give you practical tools to calm your nervous system, manage rumination, set boundaries, and make decisions from a more grounded place.
Because I don't want you to feel better only when you're sitting across from me.
I want you to leave therapy knowing how to trust yourself and help yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions around Betrayal Trauma
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Betrayal trauma can happen when someone you deeply trusted violates that trust in a significant way. This can include infidelity, repeated lying, secretive behavior, discovering a double life, financial betrayal, or other experiences that leave you questioning what was real. The impact can extend far beyond the relationship itself and affect your sense of safety, self-trust, and ability to trust others.
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Betrayal trauma can look different for everyone. You might find yourself obsessively replaying what happened, checking your partner's phone or social media, struggling to sleep, feeling anxious or on edge, questioning your own judgment, or having a hard time concentrating. You may also feel angry one minute and desperate to reconnect the next. Your nervous system may be reacting as though it needs to constantly monitor for another threat.
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Yes. The impact of betrayal isn't determined by how someone else describes what happened. If an experience left you feeling unsafe, confused, destabilized, or unable to trust your own perceptions, it deserves attention. Therapy can help you understand the impact without getting stuck arguing over whether your reaction is "too much."
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After betrayal, your brain may try to make sense of what happened so you can prevent it from happening again. This can lead to replaying conversations, searching for clues, asking the same questions repeatedly, or trying to figure out when the deception started. While understandable, this kind of mental reviewing can keep your nervous system activated. Therapy can help you work with the underlying fear and uncertainty rather than simply trying to force yourself to stop thinking about it.
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You can still benefit from individual therapy. Healing doesn't require you to have a particular outcome for the relationship. We can work on processing what happened, understanding what you need to feel safe again, rebuilding self-trust, and figuring out what repair would need to look like for you.
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Knowing a relationship isn't working and actually leaving it are two very different things. Attachment, fear, grief, guilt, loneliness, financial concerns, and worries about your partner's reaction can all make leaving complicated. Therapy can help you understand what is keeping you stuck and build the emotional and practical support you need to move forward.
Let’s Work Together
📍 In-person therapy in Long Beach/Bixby Knolls
💻 Virtual therapy throughout California & Florida
Serving clients in and around Long Beach, Los Alamitos, Seal Beach, Lakewood, Cerritos, Cypress, Huntington Beach, and nearby Orange County and Los Angeles communities.